Let the battle begin! Today we are competing against each other: City kids VS country bumpkins. No, this battle would be unfair, because the winner is clear. Growing up in the countryside is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you.
“Boo-hoo!” the city kids will shout now. And yes, you city Tarzans and Janes can do a lot of things that would be impossible for country bumpkins. You can find your way around this absolutely inscrutable subway network, you have fast Internet and you can steel your slaggy teenage body in a trendy McFit. But Starbucks coffee can’t keep up with fresh milk. So here are 27 moments you’ll only remember if you grew up in the countryside!
1
Endless ways home
You become sporty when you start attending your first parties in the countryside. There are only two ways to get home at night: biking or walking. The way home can easily take two hours. But with a few fellow sufferers and a beer, that doesn’t matter at all!
2
No signal
Strangely, no one has built a cell tower in your village of 30 people. That’s why countryside children have to go to the window and stretch their cell phones toward the sky for every single text message. When you get even a dash of reception, you just can’t move and have to quickly press ‘send’.
3
Secret weapon rosehip
Only real country bumpkins know what great pranks you can play with rose hips. So don’t tease us, you city kids – we have bioweapons!
4
Pushing cows
An, admittedly, extremely questionable pastime. The drunken countryside teenagers sneak up on sleeping cows at night and simply knock the animals over.
5
Making flower wreaths
Real countryside kids can make a decent wreath from a bunch of daisies with a left hand. Take that you open-air rave ladies with your plastic flower wreaths!
6
Stomach ache from fresh apple juice
When fresh apple juice is pressed in autumn, then of course you have to try it immediately! And it tastes just so great that you keep drinking and drinking. Afterwards you have a stomachache, but it was worth it!
7
Egg Shooting
Between the happy clucking of the chickens it happens quickly that sometimes one or the other egg is overlooked. A true gift for countryside children! Because eggs that have gone bad may then be shot through the air with slingshots or catapults. Stinks disgustingly! But it’s great fun!
8
Missed the bus!
As a village child, you have exactly two opportunities a day to leave your village. Therefore, the golden rule is that you must never (never!!!) miss the bus, because the next one won’t come for another four hours.
9
No school due to snow
It’s a long way to school – a very long way! The school bus winds its way through every village for an hour until it reaches its destination. But if there’s too much snow, it doesn’t make the trip and the kids get a day off!
10
Resi, I’ll get you with the tractor!
As a village kid, you can drive a tractor that weighs tons around the neighborhood even before you can write your own name.
Cover image: Rachel Kelso at CC BY 2.0