“Treat others as you would want to be treated” – who among us hasn’t been asked to reflect on this golden rule at least 26 times. Let’s do that, then: Reflect on whether we always treat others the way we want to be treated. I’ve come to the conclusion that this phrase doesn’t always apply to me. It’s hard for me to walk through life 24 hours a day with open arms and a constant willingness to help. Sometimes there are those incredibly annoying phone calls where my voice betrays my bad mood, or the pissed-off bakery saleswoman whose defiant question “What do you want” I don’t answer with a loving smile. Friendliness and the willingness to help others are actually not difficult to implement, and opportunities open up every day to make “a better person” out of oneself.
Just be nice
Also the New York designers Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman, have taken up the challenge with their project “12 Kinds of Kindness” set the goal of becoming kinder people. To do this, they have developed a 12-step plan to be tested and carried out over 12 months. Simply trying kindnesses they don’t otherwise think are necessary or putting themselves in the shoes of someone in need of help. “Based on 12-step programs designed to change behaviors, they created a 12-step experiment as a way to confront their own apathy and selfishness. For 12 months, Tim and Jessie at tempted to open their hearts, eyes and minds to become kinder, more empathetic people,” the two describe the project on their Website.
As with their first project “40 Days of Dating”this experiment is also shared publicly on their blog and documented in detail. Their self-experiment “40 Days of Dating”, for which the two met for 40 days to find out whether they could fall in love with each other, caused a hype on the net. Well, falling in love with each other in 40 days is certainly no easy task. But just being nice – that’s really not so hard. Or is it? Jessica and Timothy have already gone through three of the twelve steps to become friendlier people and have drawn some amazing conclusions. Maybe after this experiment we’ll think twice about offering our seat to the old lady in the subway.
Step 1: Can I help you?
In the first step, Jessica and Timothy are testing what happens when they offer their help to people. “We know that there is no way we’d be able to help anyone in a deeply meaningful way in only one day,” Jessica explains on her blog. “Instead, the point was to gather a small survey of what our fellow New Yorkers are struggling with, big or small, before we dove head first into the rest of our steps.”
Step 2: Open your eyes
According to one theory, the willingness to help decreases as soon as we are surrounded by many people. Jessica and Timothy also wanted to test this theory in New York. Is it really true that we want to relinquish responsibility as soon as there are more people around us? The two designers put up hundreds of missing person posters with their photo in a street, then place themselves in that very street and wait to see what happens. Then they repeat the experiment with a dog. Now guess what happens! And even when Jessica and Timothy walk through the streets fully packed and looking for help, some reactions are different than expected.
Step 3: Switch it up
The worst people ever – for Jessica, telephone representatives have leased this title. And she’s certainly not alone in that. But what does she think about these people when she turns the situation around and rings through to other people herself as a telephone representative? And how does it feel to have to collect signatures on the street?
4th step:Don’t Beat Yourself Up
5. Step: Forgive & Forget
6. Step: Face Yourself
7. Step: Kill Them With Kindness
8. Step: Walk a Mile In Their Shoes
9. Step: Go Big or Go Home
10. Step: Pay It Forward
11. Step: Wear a Smile
12. Step: Dive Deep
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Image source: Screenshot Youtube/ 12 Kinds of Kindness