A tingling in the stomach, the exciting feeling of uncertainty, the tense anticipation. The anticipation of the first date fully takes us in. But we catch ourselves as this feeling becomes rarer and rarer. Getting to know someone new has become the norm. Apps make it easy for us. We help ourselves to Tinder at the all-you-can-eat buffet and are assigned potential partners on OK Cupid. Two or three small talk conversations and there it is: the first meeting.
Dating becomes a marathon, every match is a new chance. And there are many of them. When we tell our grandparents about our hectic love lives, they can only shake their heads. “It looked very different back then,” they say, and we roll our eyes. The old before-it-was-all-better lay. But isn’t there maybe some truth to that, at least when it comes to the getting-to-know-you phase? 11 reasons why dating was clearly better in the age of black-and-white movies.
1
The date really took place
At that time, it wasn’t easy to spontaneously cancel a meeting without technical devices. There was no last-minute cancellation via Whatsapp, no “something came up” via Facebook message. You could rely on the date actually showing up.
2
Communication was much easier
Let’s be honest, this superficial writing is annoying! “How are you?” and “What are you up to?” have rarely led to a really interesting and profound conversation. And anyway, the whole thing has become very complicated: Text messages are noncommittal, Facebook messages are perhaps too noncommittal, and phone calls before a first date are definitely overkill. In the past, it was definitely easier with personal invitations, disc phones or letters.
3
Intercourse was not expected
…or talked about. The intercourse history is no longer a taboo subject on the first date, “second base” has become the norm. After all, you also have to get to know your counterpart physically.
4
It was really looking for true love
The expectations of a date used to be crystal clear: find your soul mate. Or at least the spouse. After all, wasn’t that the original purpose of dating? At a time when there were no or very few mingles, friends with benefits, or love triangles, there was no need for a separate definition. Monogamy didn’t have to be announced with mutual understanding and officially confirmed on Facebook back then either.
5
The attention was entirely focused on the counterpart
The watch was still on the wrist in the past, the neurotic look at the smartphone not yet a postmodern (?) disease. Distractions only came from things in the real world.
6
“Blind” also really meant blind
In the past, there were still real “blind dates. Before cyberstalking became the norm thanks to Google and Facebook, people didn’t know anything about their date. No, they didn’t even see a blurred profile photo. This not only increased the chances of not calling off the date in advance because people discovered photos of the object of their desire that showed them drunk and only wearing underpants. No, completely without Facebook and Instagram check, people also went without prejudice and with much more curiosity than we will probably ever have thanks to all the stalking. Where’s the excitement in that?
7
Clothing wise they gave everything
Back then, you still made a real effort with hoop skirt, water wave and bow tie to impress the counterpart. Today, everything is possible, nothing is compulsory. This also applies to your own appearance. Today, you wear whatever you feel comfortable in on a date, but a little more effort would be nice. Unironed shirts and blouses, dirty shoes and stained jeans really don’t leave a good impression.
8
Unpunctuality was not an option
The academic quarter hour has left the lecture hall. Today, you’re late all the time. Quickly write a digital notification and soothe your conscience. Without smartphones, reliability was still a top priority.
9
The man was quite a gentleman
Holding the door open, being brought to the door, being picked up from home, helping into the jacket. What is often still practiced today was consistently carried through back then, even beyond the first date. Even small gifts and bouquets of flowers were considered a natural gesture.
10
One date was still a real date
What counts as a “date” in the Internet age can be anything from a noncommittal meeting for love to a quick coffee. Dates have become routine and are sometimes no longer even associated with tingling anticipation or effort.
11
Romance was not embarrassing
Songs, poems and other soulful gestures. What is considered super cheesy today was a romantic matter of course in the days of bouquets, Elvis Presley and couple dancing. Today, we shy away from expressing feelings.
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Image source: cover, image (4) (6) (7) (9) Ryan Polei, Image (1) (5) (8) Jörg Schubert, image (2) lensletter, image (3) (11) Mateus Lunardi Dutra, Image (10) Sai Mr. at CC BY 2.0